Tuesday, December 14, 2010

One of those days...

All in all I would consider myself quite lucky. In the transition after the move from the US to here, I haven't had many bad days. I haven't had many emotional breakdowns.

But, the last few days with being sick and a lack of sleep, since Saturday we went out with some friends at 5am for breakfast (more in a minute, will give it a post of its own =P) and not sleeping, I was a mess, and I should have expected.

I was feeling very sorry for myself, and wondering why I had given up all I did to come here? I was feeling very lonely, as DH works a lot...and I don't have many of my own friends, and I didn't want them. I just wanted to be alone and sit in my pity. I suppose its this time of the year, I mean it's almost Christmas, and I'm so far away from my family.

Anyways, I was a major b***h. I admit it, I was, and I apologized to DH a lot. I was just missing my mom, and siblings, and M & J. It was just everything. I have also had a lot of other things on my mind.

I am much better today, but I broke down and cried a lot. I wanted to go home, I looked at prices of round-trip tickets to go home for Christmas (Rs 60,000, way too much right now!!!) and texted my family and told them I missed and loved them.

I even told DH I wanted to get away, and I am hoping that perhaps we can go away for Christmas weekend, or if nothing else, we can get turkey?? Let's see :-)


  1. I'm sorry to hear about you feeling blue and upset. I'm sending good thoughts and lots of shanti (peace) your way. Make sure to check your breathing and keep the oxygen coming. It makes such a huge huge difference.

    Do you have any hobbies that you could do in your spare time? Maybe creating things that would make you smile and feel productive? Just a thought. It certainly can't erase homesickness, but it would give you something to do and feel engaged in while DH is working.

  2. Sorry to hear about your homesickness. Hopefully, next Christmas would be different and you'd get to enjoy the holiday with your family.

    Which part of the US are you from? Regardless, almost the entire country is reeling from a cold wave that so far has proven to be the Grinch.

    I am thinking about making a trip to India early in the new year...wouldn't mind escaping the cold even if it is only for two short weeks. Having said all that, I am still hoping for a white Christmas.

  3. @Aman,

    We are looking at that...hopefully I will be able to volunteer somewhere, or something...I find things that interest me for a while, then I get distracted..*sigh* I will soon work, (ok, not SOON, but soon enough!!) and then be ok!!


    I'm originally from NY, but my dad lives in UT. So...yeah, its pretty cold in both of those areas! :-) I dont' plan to go visit my family in the winter...no thanks! I hope to go in the summer when it will be slightly less cold!

  4. (((Hugs))))

    And Hang in there! I know the feeling and frankly the time of the year I get the most upset and homesick is during the holidays, the first few years were the thoughest, the good new is that with time it does get a lot lot lot better. I think this year is really the first time I'm not missing Switzerland for Christmas mostly because we are all settled and our daughter is now starting to get what it is all about and I'm having fun starting all kind of traditions, but that is after 7 years living in India

  5. @Cyn,

    yeah, :-) I'm feeling better...