PNPC Bengali Style Part 1

I'm starting a new series called PNPC Bengali Style (PNPC means poro ninda, poro charcha, or roughly translates to Gossiping and Bitching about others) for the odd random things I hear around town.

The other day I was swimming and this random lady (RL) comes up to me and this is how the conversation went.

RL : Are you Indian?
Me : No, I'm American.
RL : Where are you from in the US?
Me : New York
RL : What do you do here?
Me : I'm married to a Bengali.
RL : What's his name?
Me : Told her DH's name
RL : Really? I am a Sengupta too! We're in the same caste.
Me : (thinking in my head) Lady...I don't really care about caste...you're mad!

Seriously?! It's a good thing I didn't let on that I speak bangla too! I came home and told this to DH and he just about busted up laughing and had a huge ole grin stuck on his face for some time!

Swimming is going good, I'm sore and that's a good thing, as it tells me I'm pushing myself instead of just letting myself "get by" with the bare minimum effort.

Fares

Oh, for those of you who take auto's around Kolkata be aware that the fares are going up.

The new fares (I've experienced recently) are :

Gariahat to Ruby (or vice versa) is now Rs 10, but if you get down on the Bijon Setu (at the train station) it's only Rs 8, and to Fern Road is Rs 9. This raise is from Rs 7...so a bit steep. I still remember when it would cost me Rs 5 to get to Gariahat.

Also, now from Ruby to Jadavpur Thana it's Rs 10 from Rs 9.

Also, for taxi's the fare has gone up (quite some time back though...) and the calculation is quite complicated. The formula is Amount on Meter  multiplied by 2.4 and then you add Rs 1. So if the meter says Rs 24, the formula is 24 x 2.4 = Rs 57.6 + Rs 1 = 57.6, so rounded up it's Rs 58. Complicated I know...

Ah, and a few times I've taken taxi's that have their meters recalibrated. Meaning, the meter will read Rs 25 when they turn it on and then you just pay what is shown at the end of the trip. It's kinda trippy, I've only taken these 2 times (both times with DH, thank god, because I didn't know about the recalibration thingy) and I'm always thinking "The taxi driver needs to reset his meter" until I remember and then I'm like what an idiot! LOL

Don't say ram chagol! and Learning Hindi

Well...I'm into my 3rd week of Hindi classes, and besides saying small sentences like, "Mein khush hoon" (I am happy) or "Mein ladki hoon" (I am a girl) and the sounds, and a few words, I'm not so far into it yet. However, I can write the letters in their horribly round shapes (I much prefer Bengali script as it's more straight) and read it pretty well.

Well, let me tell you about my teacher. Her name is Latika, her native tongue is Hindi, and her husband's is Bengali. I know, you are probably thinking, Why do we give a crap about what her husband's native language is?, there is a point I promise! This is her first time teaching at Ramakrishna Mission, and she's not entirely sure how to go about it, not that I correct her. At the beginning of each class we are supposed to say a prayer, and in my Bengali class we were made to stand while we repeated it...well, she doesn't make us stand, maybe she doesn't know better? Also, I swear she has ADD (attention deficit disorder) because she can't stay on the same subject for more than like 20 minutes. If she did, we would already be done with the sounds, and writing, and you know...the boring stuff.

In one of my last classes we were going over some small vocabulary words. The word bakri (goat) came up and she asked me what it was in Bengali. I told her it was chagol, and after a slight pause continued on to say, "But, my husband always says ram chagol." Now, ram chagol means a billy goat, but it can be used as an insult, meaning a very stupid person. My teacher upon hearing this was shocked and said, "No! Don't say that! That's not a good thing to say!"

Then the next class we were going over the hindi words for banyan tree and riverside / bank (which for the life of me I can't remember at the moment, and I'm too lazy to get out my workbook...) and she couldn't tell us the exact English translation for them, so I texted one of my friends and asked him. He responded and I then told the teacher...hehe, the power of technology.

Oh, yes, and the workbook makes me feel like I'm in Kindergarten again...seriously, but anyways...I am enjoying shocking my teacher like this, and am half contemplating continuing with the courses just to entertain myself. :-) Because, honestly, if I didn't entertain myself somehow in this class, I would just fall asleep...not good! 

Famously famous or infamously famous?

I have been wanting some Men Tse Tse (a flat noodle soup with a lot of veggies and a light broth...) and some Pan-fried pork momo's from one of our favorite restaurants. :-) I have been wanting this for, oh, about 2-3 weeks now. Well, SIL brought me home some ladoo's since they are like my favorite misti. Well, DH wanted one, so I let him eat one...little did he know that he would have to feed me for that one 4 rupee ladoo. :-)

Well, off we went, and when we arrived the owner of the restaurant waved and said hi to us. She had recognized us and knew exactly what we wanted to eat. So...we sat down and ordered our food, along with 2 mango juices. Not even 2 minutes later the owner came over and told us that they were out of the noodles to make a proper men tse tse and what else could she give us? We replied that she should give us whatever was good, and we were ok with experiments. She replied that she would give us the men tse tse but with thin noodles. We were totally ok with that. We ate our momo's and when our soup came we chugged it down. It was pretty much the same to me, but DH says the flat noodles make it different (but whatever, you know? :P). Then when we were about half way done with our soup, the owner came over and gave us a bowl of chilli chicken as a apology that she didn't have the proper ingredients. The chilli chicken was delish.

Seriously, how many of us could say that we would have that kind of service in the US? I've only ever experience half as good service, even in the restaurants (like Taco Bell, and junk) where I've worked, and even then...it was iffy. Seriously, I'm impressed. :-)

Zoo, Me? No!

Seriously people, do you think that I'm some sort of animal that lives in a zoo that you can just take photos of whenever you want?

This is the response that I had when earlier this week I was running some errands in Gariahat. I was walking down the street to go back home, and some idiot is trying to be inconspicuous about snapping a photo of me.

Dude, you have your cell phone held up to your side, with the camera pointed to the sidewalk, and then when I walk past, you push the snap button, and it makes a noise. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to not realize what you just did? Be grateful I just muttered to myself and kept walking on, because I was not in such a good mood.

Seriously, I DO NOT LIVE IN A ZOO FOR YOU PEOPLE TO GIVE YOU FREAKING VOYAGEUR PLEASURE!! KTHNXBAI

Today, I love my friends, and my mommy :-)

Days like today make me smile. I woke up early to attend a conference with DH and while I was up, I was messaged by a friend. She had just arrived in Kolkata from the US and had asked me when I could pick up my items. So after a hectic day, I arrived at her house at 5pm.

There I was greeted by my 2 twin nephews :-), who are super cute! I gave mashi-ma (aunty) the sweets I had purchased for them, as per normal tradition (this I was told by DH today...) and went in and spoke to my friend for like 2 hours. My nephew proceeded to tell me how his brother "drowned" while they were in Singapore. Apparently there was a bridge over a small koi pond in the airport. The brother had been leaning over to see inside the pond, and promptly fell in, swallowing some "yucky" water. LOL it was so cute, the brother got such a kick out of the fact that his brother "drowned" ROFL

It was a nice little break, but what made me *SO* happy was that my mom had sent a package to her before they left. My mommy sent me $$$, some real hairbands (I just can't handle the ones here...) and my friend had brought me some of my favorite chips and chocolate. Oh, how it made my day. I have only eaten 2 chips, but now I am in a much better mood! How the small things make you smile :-)

Oh, btw, some funny things. The other day I saw a bakery that sells "pestry" (I'll try to get a photo of it...)

So you are a bangali bou?

In Kolkata you take an auto that drives on a certain route, i.e. Ruby to Gariahat or Gariahat to Park Circus or Rash Bihari, with about 3-4 other people. Today I was on my way home from the metro when an old man started asking me questions.

It started because I asked the driver, "Gariahat, koto?" (How much to gariahat?)

The man next to me started with, "You can speak bengali?" in a somewhat surprised voice, to which I replied, "a bit".

OM : Where are you from?

At this point my phone rings and it's DH wondering where I am, so I tell him and then hang up.

Me: US
OM : How long have you been here?
Me : Just about 2 years
OM : Why are you here?
Me : My husband is Bengali
OM : Oh, so you're a bangali bou?
Me : I suppose so, yes
OM : Do you know what bou means?
Me : Yes, wife
OM : How do you like bangali's?
Me : I like them so far (at this point I am a bit annoyed...)
OM : How many months out of the year do you stay in India?
Me : Almost 2 years...

At this point he shuts up and we get out.

It was funny, and a bit annoying but it made me smile! :-)

LOL

p.s. sorry if i forgot any 'B's in this post...my 'b' button is acting up =/

The Bong Connection and surprises

So, the last few days I have been bugging DH to take me to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, but no luck yet. :-) I'm still holding out hope for sometime this week or this weekend.

Anyways, I am pretty sure he was sick of me nagging him to take me out, so he said, I want to watch "The Bong Connection" so look and see if you can find it. I'm quite used to him requesting strange movies, so I didn't ask, I just looked, and upon finding nothing (since this was like the second time I had searched for it) he asked me where the nearest Planet M (since we have a membership card there and get a discount, plus we rack up points!) we found out that there was one close by on Prince Anwar Shah Road. We assumed it was in the South City Mall, so off we went.

Well, we didn't locate the Planet M, but instead, mainly because the mall was closing, we went to the Starmark and purchased the movie.

The movie was a decent movie, not my favorite by far, but decent. We were watching, and I was feeling bored, and sleepy. Although, I was enjoying the fact that I had visited some of the places that were being shown in the movie, such as Flury's and the Park Street area, especially a well known pub, Someplace Else (SPE).

All of a sudden, I see people I KNOW IN THIS MOVIE!!! They are the members of the band, Cassini's Division. The members of this band happen to be friends of ours, and one is our neighbor! Talk about exciting! I turned to DH and asked him why he didn't tell me! He told me, I'm good at keeping things a surprise. :-) Talk about making my night!


So, DH had decided to watch the movie because he wanted to surprise me with the fact that our friends were in the movie.

Have you ever...?

Seen something that infuriated you the second you saw it?? Well, let me tell you today that happened to me. We went to the Lower Circular Road (Christian) Cemetery. Well...first let me upload the photos, and you can see for yourself before I go off ranting and raving (which I fully intend to do!)

This is what made me furious! You can see in the lower left corner the state of some of the graves!!!

 And here! The state of the grounds! :-(

 This is a sign dedicated to Charles Freer Andrews. He was a English priest for the Church of England. He was one of Gandhi's closest friends and confidant, and a Indian freedom fighter. Incidentally, he is also buried in this cemetery, which we didn't get to see because I was done. I am hoping to go back and visit his grave at a later date.

 And here, you can see an old man laying on a blanket listening to an english cricket commentary! ON A GRAVE!!!

This is the sign that leads to the final resting place of yet another famous man named John Elliot Drink Water Bethune (and yes his name is really Drinkwater!!!) He was a Anglo-Indian lawyer who promoted women's education in India. In 1849 he founded a school that would later would become the first women's college in India - Bethune College.

We went here today, for the architecture and a sense of history of Kolkata. Now, I will grant the cemetery this, there are some nice memorial stones, as you can see from the above pictures. However, there are also some that are in COMPLETE RUINS!! I am talking about graves from the late 1800's! This is history my dear friends! The letterings on the graves, although this is probably due to the acidic rain during the monsoons, is eroding and is getting hard to read. There are some grave sites that are completely shattered, where you can see the ground (and in some parts 1/2 - 1 foot) under the cement blocks that are placed under the headstones!

I am astonished! The way that these dead people are treated! Grant you, and I thank my DH for pointing this out, that many of the descendants of these families have migrated away, and are not here to care for the grave sites. But the way this cemetery hit me with a force, the force that here are people's loved ones, who are NOT being taken well care of. There are some that are being taken care of and are in very good shape, even some dating some 160-170 years ago. I am quite positive that by the elaborate headstones that these people were well loved and cared for while they were alive, but now they are not being taken care of. Also, the fact that some of these graves are of well known and famous people of India!

I will give the cemetery this one positive note, they did provide indigent burial plots. I was surprised at this and the fact that the people buried there had a very nice, although not as ornate as the rest, large white cross for a headstone. Much more than one would have gotten in the US.

Who is supposed to be maintaining this graveyard? And why are they not? I am horrified at the state of this cemetery.

My meet-up with an Australian bengali wife :-)

Today I met up with a friend of mine (who I've only ever spoken to on Facebook before) who is Australian and is also married to a Bengali man!

We were talking about how long we had been married and what visa we were on, she happens to be on a Entry (X) visa while I'm on a tourist visa! She has been married for 4 years and for the first few years the husband's parents didn't even know they were married! Actually, the parents had sent the husband to India to interview prospective brides, when in actuality he went to marry her without anyone knowing!

Also, we talked about our in-laws reactions to us, her's were a bit upset and mine were completely fine with it (they had given up all hope that DH was going to marry...ever!) And we discussed how there are many cultural differences that cause problems, like staying in our rooms with our doors shut, she while studying, and me because I like to be alone, and how that causes the family to feel insulted. However, in American and Australian culture, that is perfectly normal and acceptable.

We also spoke about her first experiences living and visiting with her husbands family in the US! I feel for her because she lives in Australia and her husband in the US and they can only see each other for 3 months at a time (because Australians get 90 days on arrival!) but they are planning for the husband to move to Australia next year.

It was just fun to be with someone who know how it felt, and to just compare how it had been. All in all it was a fun trip! :-) Her husband comes into town on Sunday, so maybe DH and I will get together with the 2 of them sometime while they are here.

Flame and Grill

Last night DH and I went out with a friend for some drinks at Oly Pub on Park St and then we headed over to Flame and Grill for dinner. There were just 3 of us, but oooohhhhhhhh, damn the food was good.

The cost was about Rs 1525 (or something like that...) but we were able to have unlimited kebabs and then a buffet...with both dinner items and a delish array of desserts!

 Here is a view of the inside of the restaurant.

Here are the condiments a yummy green (mint) sauce, and red (tamarind) sauce, with oil and brush for basting the kebabs!

 

The red flag reads, "Please turn down to discontinue starter service." This was the first thing DH tested. :-)

The waiter is placing the kebabs on the table. If you look closely on the right side of the grill, you can see the blue flame. :-)

Prawns, boneless chicken, chicken wings, amritsari fish, mutton sheek kebabs.

 The waiter is serving the kebabs.

 DH's plate full of kebabs! After this we had to stop eating kebabs!

After eating all those chicken kebab's I had chosen to eat veg! It was yummy!!

 DH's plate of succulent lamb done about just right and served at exactly 18 deg Centigrade with the chicken biriyani. It wasn't the Kolkata biriyani. Anjan Chatterjee and his planners have decided to give the quinessential aloo (potato) a miss from the biriyani. Good stuff!

My friends plate, with a different variety of food!

DH always needs to visit the bathroom in between, what he found was a pleasant surprise!

They used a copper handi for wash basin with a quaint brass tap and the wrought iron knocker for the door handle.

(ok, the sign not really ;-) more the sink!)

Then after the bathroom break it was on to dessert!!!

 

We were spoilt for choice, as we were the only ones there! 

This was my first round of dessert, lots of mousse!! Mango mousse, strawberry mousse, chocolate mousse!!!

 This was my second round of dessert! More mousse! This time more mango mousse, and some litchi mousse!! FANTASTIC!!!

 All my empty dessert bowls!

DH's plate of suji halwa and langcha.

Do All Salesmen Lie?

Well, right around the Durga Puja's DH told me that he wanted to go see Peepli Live! so I looked and found that one was playing that afternoon. So off we went. I had also been telling me (for a very long time!!) that he needed to buy new jeans. So we went and watched the movie, which was in Hindi, so it needed to be translated for me! We were wandering around the mall when we spotted a Levi's store, and so we went in. DH starts looking around and then said, "lets go" so we left. I asked him what was up, and he told me that he didn't like the store because it was trying to be something it wasn't. We proceeded on our expedition for jeans, and ended up at the Lee store. They were very helpful and we managed to find 2 pairs of jeans that DH purchased. Well, here, if the pants are too long they will alter them for you (no additional charge) within a day or 2 (or if in cases of emergencies or flights same-day is possible). So we left the jeans with the store and were told to come back 2 days later to retrieve the jeans.

FAST FORWARD TO 2 DAYS LATER :

I arrive at the mall about 30 minutes or so before the scheduled time to pick up the jeans, so I wandered around. Just at 5pm I went to the store and was told that the jeans had not been completed that day and that they had spoken to DH and told him they would be ready tomorrow. Fine, no big deal! So out I went and then I called DH and asked him why if they had told him that they weren't ready he hadn't relayed the message to me? He proceeded to say he received no such call (missed calls yes, but he was in meetings and unable to take them!). So, then I was angry! I went back to the store and started going off. With my New York attitude, not so hard! I was furious because they had point-blank lied to me!

I went in and started let them have it, I attempted to scold them in bangla, but my bangla was not holding up well, and I was seriously screwing it up! So then I proceeded to english. I asked them WHY they had told me that they had told DH they would be ready tomorrow, when in fact they had not spoken to DH at all? Merely had called him! Why not just tell me the truth! Then the store manager said to me, "Madam, come back in 1 hour, they will be ready." I said ok, and wandered around the mall some more.

Meanwhile, they had again called DH and apologized and he explained to them why I was so angry. After an hour I went back and picked up the jeans.

The it is decided I need to buy some new jeans as the ones I currently own are getting worn-out. I decide to head to the same Lee store, knowing I will get the best service. I walk in and they are all like, "Madam, yes, how can we help you?" and proceeded to help me pick out a pair of jeans, after discarding most of the options (cause I ain't gonna wear no skinny leg jeans!!). Thank goodness those jeans were already the correct length, so there was no need to alter them.

Well, yesterday I went back to this same store to purchase another pair of jeans. I told them I don't want skinny leg pants at all!! So they look over the whole store looking for my correct size and desire. I found a pair I liked, and since they were long on me, they would have to be altered. They said they would come back tomorrow, and I said, "pucca?" (you sure?), yes they responded.

Well...as I'm ringing up the purchase, the poor guy who got the brunt of my rage last time walks in, and tells me, "yes, madam, they will be ready tomorrow" and proceeds to tell the other salesmen that I had already had a problem. He was claiming that the problem was because of the puja's and that the alterations were not ready, and I told him that was incorrect, it was because they had lied.

So I went back today to pick up my jeans, almost hoping that they weren't done, so I could be a total raving lunatic again for a good reason...ok, not really, but you know, it woulda been fun!! And they were ready :-)

Learning Bangla

FYI : bangla = bengali language, bengali = person of Bengal descent

This is probably one of the hardest blog posts to write, as I'm not entirely sure what angle to write from!!! Learning a new language above the age of 25 (which I am!!) is quite difficult, and that too a Indic language.

I took a 1 year course, 6 months of Junior level, and 6 months of Senior level, at Ramakrishna Mission Institute of Culture, Golpark. The classes were held 2 days a week for 1 1/2 hours each. There were about 10-12 people in my Junior class, which consisted of about 5-6 bideshi (meaning foreigner in bangla), from Germany, US, and Canada, and 4 Indians from all over India. Whereas in the Senior class there was only 3 of us, and we were all American (and we knew each other from the previous year).

In the beginning we started by learning to write and read the bangla script. That was an adventure!! DH made me practice over and over while he patiently corrected my mistakes until my script was legible and looked somewhat like...bangla. Also, we learned about conjugating verbs, and the normal grammar. For example, we have a friend who is a probashi bengali (meaning non-resident / migrant bengali) who can speak bangla but he can't read it. We had been waiting for a bus to take us near the airport and some of the buses have the destinations written only in bangla. We were waiting, and he was like come on! The bus is coming. I looked at him and said, "What are you smoking? That bus goes from Tollygunge Metro to Ultadanga. Not to the airport." DH looked at me and started busted up laughing, and then every time a bus comes that is only written in bangla, I will tell him where it goes. =] Because I'm a mean bou-di!

Now, I am always anxious to show off my awesome bangla reading scripts, well...except the conjoining of some letters leaves me confused!! I must admit, I still have problems with the conjugations, but like I keep telling DH and myself that I've only been learning bangla for a year, and I wasn't even fluent in English at age 1!!!

I'm still learning slowly, but I'm to the point where I can understand more than I can speak. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not, but I can get my point across.

I've had many experiences of shocking and surprising many people with my bangla skills. Once when I was taking a bus home, I was waiting to get down, and the bus driver asked me, "ekhane namben?" (will you get down here?) and to which I replied, "Na, aami opere nambo" (I will get down above, meaning above the circle.) Then the usual went on to be asked, that I knew bangla, and how I learned it, and why I'm here, and how long I've been here. I usually give my standard answers. I usually just say that I learned bangla at Ramakrishna Mission at Golpark, and I'm here because my husband is bengali, and I've been here for about a year and half. It's always a conversation starter when I speak to them in bangla.

Also, one day we had a friend from out of town come to Kolkata and DH and I had decided to pick him up from the airport and then go out for dinner. Usually we are able to get a taxi from the stand in front of our house. Well, this time there wasn't any to be had, so I took a bicycle rickshaw to the crossing. I asked the taxi, "airport jabe?" (will you go to the airport?) naturally he said yes. I got in the backseat and said, "dada, aamar saami pick-up korte hobe. O aamar jonno Silver Spring Club-e dariye achhe, tarpor airport jabo" (meaning Dada, we have to pick up my husband. He is waiting for me at the Silver Springs Club, then I will go to the airport). He said, ok, and off we went. We went off to the area, and DH told us to go through the bus lane, and so we started that way, and the cop told the driver, "jete parben na" (you can't go) and the driver told him that a person was waiting for us. The cop asked, "ke?" (who?) and from the back seat I said, "aamar saami" (my husband) and after seeing me speak bangla the cop, said "jan jan" (go, go). So after successfully picking up DH off we went to the airport!

We also learned how to say certain phrases and some idioms. My favorite being "bhul bhal bhaje kotha bolo na" which roughly translates to "stop talking utter crap!!" 

This school was good for the amount of money we paid, I think we paid less than Rs 150 (less than $5) a month. I will be attending it again to learn hindi.

Blog name

I'm betting a lot of people are probably wondering about the name of this blog and how it came to be.

So I'll explain how it came to be. I had told DH that I wanted to write an anonymous blog (I love the freedom it gives me to express what I want to say without worrying about anybody knowing who I am...) but I couldn't figure out a good name for it. He suggested chanacoffee, and at first I decided I didn't like that name as it sounded like a website for hot drinks.

After talking with The Bad Bhabi and going over numerous name ideas, some of which I liked, but the DH didn't and so on. I decided to just stick to chanacoffee.

The explanation DH gave me about the name was because Indians are equated with cha (tea)...or at least my husband is...and Americans coffee (strangely enough, I can only stand the cold coffee...)!!

So then chanacoffee was born!! :)

The "Puja" Police

Last night, DH, a friend and I went out for dinner at one of our favorite local joints. We had taken a taxi and were driving in, just talking. All of a sudden we noticed that the car in front of us was stopped, and was surrounded by a group of local boys, probably homeless children, or something...just being bullies. Mind you these kids weren't police, not trainees even. They were wearing dirty ragged clothes, and looked like they hadn't bathed in a day or two, and were just looking to get some easy money in the name of religion...

Well, it was our turn next. One kid stood in front of the taxi, therefore we couldn't just leave. I didn't understand the conversation as it was in hindi, but basically the gist was the kids wanted money for the "gods" (which they would then promptly pocket, I'm sure...) and the taxi driver was arguing that he was a taxi driver and he wouldn't give anything. So then the taxi driver started to drive away, and the kid fortunately moved, cuz you know, who would want to be run over? :-)

Then we get down, and my friend went to pay the meter and got in an argument with the driver. The driver was asking for 10 rupees extra to give them so they wouldn't hassle him. My friend promptly told the taxi driver, "You should have let him deal with us. They wouldn't have said anything to us, they couldn't have." (in hindi of course, you know, but was translated for me.) The driver wasn't given the 10 rupees, only the fare, and then we went for dinner and drinks.

Oh, yeah, and DH said to me, here, now you can blog about this. LOL!!