Swimming adventures

So, in an effort to get some exercise (and within the standards that are allowed by my knees) I decided to start swimming. I wanted to this last year, but then I was informed that all of the swimming "clubs" had stopped taking applications. This year I made extra sure to get my application in on time. The club I chose was Anderson, or ILSS, since some of our goods friends are members there.

I got the application on the 10th (cost 60 rupees / $1) and had to hand it in on the 18th. I had to give 2 passport photos and have a doctor "sign" my medical release. This meant I went to the club's doctor and paid him 25 rupees (50 cents) and he just signed the paper. I handed it in and paid my Rs 2000 ($33.39) and was given a receipt and told to come back on the 18th for my ID card.

At this point, I also had to purchase a suit from them since they require that all suits have the 'ILSS' logo or else they won't be allowed in the pool. Plus a retarded looking shower cap with ties...yeah, I'm sure we all look pretty sexy.

The pool is divided into 2 sections (length wise) and separated by some sprinklers that shoot up, so that the kids that are learning to swim don't get run over. Otherwise the other half of the pool is up for grabs and most people swim laps.

So, I've learned (after 2 days of swimming) that is going to be easier on me if I start to just wear my suit to the pool and change after, since there is always a rush for the bathroom for showers and changing. I also learned the 1st day that I should get out a few minutes early in order to have the bathroom free so I don't have to wait in line to change into dry clothes.

Anyways, back to today. I'm sitting on the bench waiting patiently for my turn to change. Next to me is this older lady who all of a sudden takes off her salwar bottoms. I'm thinking okay, she's just getting ready to go to the bathroom to change. Then I realize you can see her panties and I'm like grossed out. So...next thing I know she's draping her upper body with her dupatta and then all of a sudden the suit is going up the legs and the kurta is coming off. Thankfully she's still covered with her dupatta, and bam! She's changed. Mind you the room is full of small girls...no boys, but still? Come on lady!

Then across the room I see this other lady pulling off her pants. Fine, her kurta covers her butt and all so no wardrobe malfunctions. Then I saw her holding up her pants and carefully pulling her panties out of the pants. Yuck!

Selfish or taking care of one's self?

So DH has been working pretty long days these past 2 weeks or so...I'm not complaining, I have but I'm not now. There's no point to complain, it's life, at least it's life here in India.

When he works he works in our bedroom, and he can't work without the light on, so the past few days he's been working up until around 5 or 6 at the latest. Well, I have problems sleeping with the light on, go figure!

Last night after I ate alone, because DH wasn't sure when he was coming home, I had laid down, hoping to fall asleep before he came home so I could at **LEAST** get some rest. Well...he came home before I could fall asleep, though not for my lack of trying.

He ate his dinner and his mother asked him if I was sleeping and he said, I don't know, her eyes are closed. His sister made him tea and he came in and worked again until around 5 or 6. Sometime around 3, I think...I fell asleep, but slept horribly because of the light.

Today I got a lecture from my MIL saying that I should have been awake, and I shouldn't have slept until he got home, and how she is old but she still stayed up waiting for him. Somehow me taking care of MYSELF is now being equated with being a bad wife, she didn't say that literally, but I could tell that's what she was saying.

What is it about Indian society that MIL's find their children more important than their DIL or SIL's? I mean, yeah, I've seen this in other cultures, but none so prominent as here.

Am I not allowed to make myself a priority? I do a lot for DH. Am I not allowed to take some well deserved me time? Seriously...wtf?!

Trinca's, Toilets, and Tube Tops

Today the husband and I went out for dinner, well let me tell you...there are ladies who change their kids diapers in the bathroom using a shit load of toilet paper and just dump it all in the toilet and don't flush it...DISGUSTING!!!

We had gone out for dinner and I had to use the bathroom, and so I went and I go in and see the toilet stuffed full!!! I left disgusted...seriously?! If you don't know how to use the damn western toilet, THEN DON'T USE IT! Because leaving behind your kids shit for the world to see is disgusting.

Then I went to the Park Hotel to use their bathroom and OMG!!! Talk about slutty!! I was the only white person in the bathroom full of Indians, and all the others were wearing tube tops and short skirts that barely covered their ass...wtf?!

Horrified! The night was going so great until this!

Dadu and snapping

When I'm at Gariahat and I want some cold water or a cold drink, I usually stop at this one little stall.

There's an old man, Dadu (meaning grandfather) who works there. He's a frail skinny, old man, who is a bit slow in his moves.

Normally I will bring back like 2 cokes, and 1 or 2 bottles of water. Normally if I just get 1 bottle of water he will end up bringing me 2 bottles of water and 1 coke, and I just laugh and ask him to switch it.

Now, the other day I had gone and was picking up my drinks, and there were 2 or 3 people behind me. They can all see that this guy is already helping me, and therefore busy, right?! Well, you would think so, but now, they kept calling to him.

Finally one guy behind me said, "Dadu, aapni ki korchhen?" (Grandfather, What are you doing?"

I snapped at their blatant disrespect of this gentleman, and said, "Kaaj korchhen. Ki aapni dekhte parchhen na?" (He is working. Can you not see that or what?" The guy looked at me, shocked and then shut up. :-)

I don't stand for disrespect of elders, maybe it's not disrespect in their eyes but to me it was, and I had had enough!

It seems a bit strange to me...

Today I was eating lunch by myself outside. Which gave me plenty of time to people-watch because I didn't have to keep up my side of the conversation.

This is what I saw.

There was 3 people sitting at the table next to me, 2 older ladies and a boy. Well, the boy was addicted to his game boy, and his mother was feeding him. The boy wasn't even looking up from the game, and just opened his mouth while his mother shovelled the food into his mouth.

I was aghast! I mean, this may be a cultural thing...but seriously, it if was my kid, he would have turned off that game and ate himself. geez!

Multi-race children, confusion or clarity?

Today, DH was reading this link, he had gotten from a friend's facebook page. I saw the title and was instantly interested and made him pass me the link. The article talks about people who are multi-race.

I've been thinking about this for a while. Will my children be completely confused? Will they be dominated by their dad's Bengali culture? How will their Bengali culture affect their actions? How will their upbringing be? Will they be confused?

Well, in this article the subjects go on to say that they know they are Asian and proud of it.

I'm more afraid because here in India, the aunts and uncles are more specifically labelled, as per their age / line on the totem pole. Like, the oldest aunt (or uncle's wife too) is called boro maima or boro mamima. And on (I am not entirely sure of all the names, so I am not giving them all...) and in the US we call our aunts and uncles, as Aunt GivenName and Uncle GivenName...so you can see how it would be a bit confusing for the children. But, then again, given that they will be brought up with both cultures, maybe it won't be so confusing?

While DH and I were discussing this topic just earlier, we had compared our friends situation to ours. Our 2 friends live in the US, and have 3 year old twin boys. While both of them can speak and understand English perfectly, one of them can speak and understand Bengali quite well, while the other one can understand it but not speak it. I believe this is because of how they are brought up, (our children will be brought up to speak both Bengali and English from the time they are born). These kids are essentially US citizens with Indian heritage, but their exposure to English and American culture is much more than the 1 month they spend in India every year or so.

Any thoughts? I will write more about this later, its just 1am, and I'm tired :-)

Living with the In-Laws and miscommunication

Who do you have communication and cultural problems with? When it comes to communication and culture differences, one would assume that it would be with your significant other, but that is not always true.

For me, it's with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. I have a much different sense of humor than they do. I understand that my mother-in-law is 75 and I shouldn't expect her to change, but I have changed who I am and how I do things for her.

How does one deal with this? How do you deal with the constant cultural barriers? I'm not going into specifics, but I am not sure what to do, or how much longer I can deal with this.