Marriage Certificate Attestation...and all the drama

So, on the 29th of May DH took our marriage certificate to the NRI/Home/Foreigner's office at Writer's Building here in Kolkata. He had written a letter to the Officer in Charge telling him that we needed the marriage certificate to be attested so we could get it apostiled at the MEA (Ministry of External Affairs). So, he submitted the letter along with 2 copies of our marriage certificate and was told to come back in 7 days. The NRI/Home/Foreigner's (N/H/F) office was to forward our file and request to the Marriage Registration office (MRO), where they would check our certificate against their duly registered copy. So...7 days later he went back to N/H/F and he got the file number.




The guy at the front desk gave him the file number, and told him to only go to the MRO after 7 days. DH nicely asked him why, and he was told that other's are coming in and getting their file number and right away going to the MRO and they are being told that they don't have the file and then they are returning to the N/H/F office and are complaining to their super's that they aren't doing their work. What really happens is that they post it to the MRO. Yes people, they MAIL it to a office that is within walking distance. Why, I have no clue.




So, DH waits the required 7 days and then goes to the MRO, where he is told that they have not received our file. They have received file numbers before and after ours, but not ours. So, DH then goes to the N/H/F office and asks what happened. He is told that our file was sent out the 31st, and then is sent to the Dispatch part of the office to see what happened. So, he goes, and they look through all their registers but do not find our file number anywhere in their records.




So, what happened you ask? Somewhere between their front desk and their dispatch office (a space of maybe 50 feet here people) our file was LOST. Yes, Lost.




So, DH goes back to the front desk and asks what he is supposed to do now. They give him their office copy and have him make a xerox of it...so he goes, and makes 5 copies. He returns to the N/H/F office, where they attest the copy of their original letter and he goes back to the MRO. Well, DH being DH, he goes to the bank first and deposits the Rs 1000 ($20USD) fee and gets the receipt. He goes back to the MRO and they are kind of miffed at him for already paying the fee because they tell you to come back in 3 days and submit the fee in case they can't find your certificate.




So, he gives the file and they tell him to come back in 7 days. At this point he asks if it possible for him to transport the file back to the N/H/F office since they lost our file last time, he is told no.




Fast forward 14 days, to yesterday. DH is sick and intending to go nowhere, but he has a hunch and so he goes to the MRO and finds out they have JUST finished our report that day. Well, lo and behold, they have him sign for the papers and give him their report (didn't they tell him no before? I'm seeing a pattern here...) and off he goes to the N/H/F office to get the officer to sign and stamp our marriage certificate. Well, our luck fades fast, as the officer who signs it is out of the office and we are told to come back in a day or two since he has taken leave.

So, now we are just waiting to go back to the N/H/F office to get our original marriage certificate signed and stamped and then we'll take it to MEA one morning and then pick it up in the evening, and then we'll make plans to head to the Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) in Delhi to get my visa sorted out. This whole attestation is needed for the FRRO here in Kolkata, but not needed for the visa conversion, as far as I know.




*Phew* I'm so glad the waiting game is over people.




For those who need to go through it in Kolkata here is a simplified list




NEED :




- 2 copies of Marriage Certificate

- Letter to Officer in Charge at NRI/Home/Foreigner's Office stating why you need it attested

- Rs 1000 demand draft from Reserve Bank (to be given to MRO)




Steps : (as it should be done, not as we did it...)




1. Give letter and copies of Marriage Certificate at NRI/Home/Foreigner's Office

2. Go back in 7 days and get the file number

3. Go to MRO 7 days after getting the file number

4. Return 3 days later to MRO and give them the demand draft

5. Return 7 days later (I suggest maybe give them 2 weeks instead...) to see if your report has been completed (at this point they should have sent it on to N/H/F office...)

6. Return to N/H/F office to find out status (probably wait a few days before going...)

7. Return and pick up stamped and signed Marriage Certificate

8. Drop off Marriage Certificate at MEA (I'm sorry I don't know the address or where it is...) in the morning with a Rs 50 postal draft (or something, I'm not sure, DH knows...) and then return and pick it up in the evening, they will have put a stamp (or glue a paper stamp on back, I'm not entirely sure which they do...) and then COMPLETE!!!

PIO and OCI merge?

While DH was making our lunch of alu paratha he was using a page of the Economic Times under to keep the mess minimal. Lo and behold, there was this article.

According to the ET there is some talks going on about merging PIO and OCI cards. It also gives a lot of good information, like where to apply and how much they cost, etc. Now, while this is good news for the Indian citizens, because it is less confusing and better in the long run it leads to me a few questions that, sadly, were left unanswered.

Will the PIO be no longer available? If so, how does this affect those of us who are not Indian by birth? One would assume that the PIO would still be available but there is no further information to be gleaned in the article (unless I'm missing something, which is entirely possible). Assuming the PIO is no longer available, then what will the spouses of Indian citizens get? Will we be eligible for OCI or what will we do?

There are so many unanswered questions, let us see what happens as DH says nothing will likely come into law for at least 2 years. :-)

Multi-race children, confusion or clarity?

Today, DH was reading this link, he had gotten from a friend's facebook page. I saw the title and was instantly interested and made him pass me the link. The article talks about people who are multi-race.

I've been thinking about this for a while. Will my children be completely confused? Will they be dominated by their dad's Bengali culture? How will their Bengali culture affect their actions? How will their upbringing be? Will they be confused?

Well, in this article the subjects go on to say that they know they are Asian and proud of it.

I'm more afraid because here in India, the aunts and uncles are more specifically labelled, as per their age / line on the totem pole. Like, the oldest aunt (or uncle's wife too) is called boro maima or boro mamima. And on (I am not entirely sure of all the names, so I am not giving them all...) and in the US we call our aunts and uncles, as Aunt GivenName and Uncle GivenName...so you can see how it would be a bit confusing for the children. But, then again, given that they will be brought up with both cultures, maybe it won't be so confusing?

While DH and I were discussing this topic just earlier, we had compared our friends situation to ours. Our 2 friends live in the US, and have 3 year old twin boys. While both of them can speak and understand English perfectly, one of them can speak and understand Bengali quite well, while the other one can understand it but not speak it. I believe this is because of how they are brought up, (our children will be brought up to speak both Bengali and English from the time they are born). These kids are essentially US citizens with Indian heritage, but their exposure to English and American culture is much more than the 1 month they spend in India every year or so.

Any thoughts? I will write more about this later, its just 1am, and I'm tired :-)

What visa do I need?

I've had some queries about what visa would be necessary to come to India to get married on.

Come to India on a Tourist visa. Get married, and after the marriage you will be able to get your Tourist visa converted to an Entry (X) visa on dependant status on marital grounds.

To do this you will need to get registered at the FRRO (post coming up on how to accomplish this) and there they will either tell you to go to Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) in Delhi, or they will accept your application and send it to Delhi. I am not sure if it is necessary for you to take a trip to Delhi at all, but it may be required.

After 1 year of marriage you can then convert your X visa into a PIO card, by the same procedure.

All this can be done here in India.

How to marry under The Special Marriage Act of 1954

DH and I were married under the Special Marriage Act because we are of different nationalities, and religions (DH being atheist...).

The requirements are :

1. groom must be 21 years of age, and bride 18 years
2. should be single

You need to find out who the marriage registrar is over the area you are living in, and one of you needs to have lived in that area for at least 30 days. You go to the registrar and tell them you want to get married (hopefully they have performed foreigner's marriages before like ours did, and knew what needed to be done). You will be given 2 pages (I think, I don't remember how many there were) in multiples of 3. You fill out all the pages and give them back to the registrar, and pay some fees. I believe we paid Rs 100 the first time. The copies of the fill out pages will be displayed in other areas, in case, your significant other finds him/herself already married.

At this time you will pick a date after 30, but within 90 days. You must also give :

1. 3 copies of passport (for wife) or other form of ID for husband (voter ID, etc, if passport is not available)
2. 3 copies of husband's address proof
3. No objection certificate / proof of singleness which can be procured from your Embassy or before coming to India, provided your country will provide one with you. If your Embassy can not provide you with one, it is acceptable to get a letter drafted by a lawyer, with appropriate actions to make it notarized. Also, if you are a divorcee, your divorce papers will suffice in this area.
4. Also, if you are baby-faced or really young, proof of age may be asked for.

After you pick the date, you arrive at the registrars office on the appointed date. Here you will fill out a few more papers, sign a few things, and then repeat a phrase, something along the lines that you say in church, about taking care of one in sickness and health, three times. You will also need to bring 3 witnesses who will also sign. Then pay your fees (we paid Rs 600, not including the previous Rs 100) as the fee for the marriage.

Now its time to celebrate!

It is also possible for the registrar to come to your marriage venue, which would have cost us around Rs 1000.

Then a month later you pick up your marriage certificate!