Father in law...Final Day

FIL has passed away. He had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer before the Durga Puja holidays and we then pursued another opinion before we made our final decision. Fast forward to yesterday (Wednesday)...SIL was called over to the hospital at 730am because he had some respiratory distress, so they had put him on some oxygen and he had stabilized.

Around 530pm the hospital had again called and said that he had again deteriorated and that we should come over. DH rushed over, but by the time he had made it over FIL had already passed away. We spent the next 6 hours getting his body released before we headed to the crematorium for the final good-byes.

We had many good friends who had come over to help us without us asking and we are forever grateful for that. It is very sad that we had to say good-bye, but at least he is no longer suffering. We are now watching over MIL and making sure that she is okay and going day by day.

Father in Law...Day 2

So, Sunday night into Monday morning I took my shift watching FIL until 6am again. The poor guy was so restless...he kept fidgeting and calling out for us to help him. However, he wasn't responsive and if we spoke to him he didn't understand. We managed to keep him at home despite great problems. He was screaming at 5am at the top of his lungs because we wouldn't let him lay down since we were cleaning his bed.

Now he was also trying to talk to us, but he was making no sense and the sentences he was saying were garbled. We waited until 12pm on Monday and we took him to the nearest hospital and had him admitted. I went to see him on Tuesday evening and he was sleeping peacefully and we headed home.

330am Ramblings

I'm sitting here taking my shift with FIL so that SIL and MIL can sleep. It's nearly 330am and we feel that we can't leave him alone after he fell yesterday morning while trying to go to the bathroom. I'm filled with plenty of emotion as I sit here keeping an eye on him from the front table. I know that one day soon when I look down at his room it will be empty, but sooner than I ever expected. It's a surreal thing to be watching someone that you loved going down this path.

The worst part is that we can't do anything for him...all we can do is take care of him the best that we can. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I know that we will manage until we decide what will be the best for him overall.

Days with my Father in Law - Part 1

The last few months have been a bit chaotic and we've not shared the news with everyone, but my FIL only has a short time left. I'm not going to go into the diagnosis, but the deterioration is scary and happening fast. I'm hoping that I can remember the good days as he has them, which are few and far in between these days, so that's why I'm blogging about them.

On my birthday, November 12th, everyone had forgotten, which was expected in between all of the tests and whatnot that FIL was undergoing. DH had told my MIL it was my birthday and so she had called me up and wished me. FIL found out it was my birthday and decided he was going to give me his traditional "pats" on the head as wishes, but this time it was harder than normal. Anyways, that's something I want to remember.

Let's fast forward to today, when it took me, my SIL and DH to get FIL to take his medications and have some biscuits and tea. He had fallen early in the morning while trying to get up to go to the bathroom and woke up with bruises. He had complained that his head was hurting so they took him to the ER and it turns out he only has a mild hematoma, so nothing to worry about.

Later in the evening I was making tea for everyone and I asked FIL if he wanted some as he was exhausted. He said yes, so I made it for him and when it was cooled off a bit I brought it in the room. SIL was helping him up and she was like, ok, no more, tea isn't that important. My FIL said "no, cha is important!", so he got up and drank half of his tea.

We (MIL, SIL, DH and I) were talking in front of their room and we burst out laughing. From his room FIL asked me why I was laughing and I replied back to him, what am I not supposed to laugh today? He then said, no! of course you can laugh. This elicited another round of laughter from all of us.

Darjeeling...Our 6 1/2 Year Delayed Honeymooon

Back in December DH and I had traveled to Darjeeling after he had finished up some work in Siliguri. We spent 5 days there and we walked around a lot of places. We also stayed in an awesome hotel called Revolver, which is a Beatles themed place, that a good friend of ours had recommended. We stayed in the George and Ringo rooms and the best part, in some people's mind, but not mine, is the fact that you can order some traditional Naga thali's for dinner. We tried that the first night we were there and I could barely eat because the overwhelming smell of fermented fish paste and everything else had me wrinkling up my nose.

The first day we mostly just wandered around the main part of the city, including searching for Kunga, which is an amazing Tibetan restaurant. The amazing part, which we realized after we arrived, is that it is straight down the road from our hotel. However, it took us at least 20 minutes of walking around to find it. Here were had the most amazingly moist, beef steamed momos and some thenthuk. We visited here every single day to enjoy the goodness, mostly the soups after a long day in the cold.

We also ventured out one morning early to head over to Keventer's to enjoy the porky goodness. We also visited the zoo, made some new friends while on the Ropeway, visited the Botanical Gardens, which wasn't in bloom and much more. We had walked all the way from our hotel to the zoo, which took at least 1 hour and we were so exhausted at the end of the day. We also went to Glenary's and had some good tea, snacks and just time to hang out.

However, the best part of the trip was the fact that we enjoyed hanging out at the local bar named Joey's. The first night we only had a few drinks and then went back to the hotel and the owner, the late Puran, had told us about a short-cut to get to the hotel. The next day as we had spotted him walking down the road while leaving on our adventures he had recognized us and asked us how we managed. We said fine, but sadly in February it was announced that Puran had passed away and the pub is now run by his wife.

On our last day here, we had decided that we would get up at 5am and go see the sunrise. We didn't, however, head over to Tiger Hill, which is where most people would go. We had found this amazing viewing area on the road just before the Governor's House and we went up there. Amazingly, I was standing there looking out over the valley and saw a glimpse of Kanchenjunga (the 3rd largest peak in the world) through the fog.

The view while the sun was rising over the mountain was spectacular and not something that I would have missed for the world. After this we had gone to Keventer's again for breakfast before picking up a few last minute gifts for our friends and headed back to the hotel before getting in the car and returning back for our train.

Absence...does it make the heart grow fonder?

I always forget that I have this blog...that and nothing really interesting happens to us. We did go to Darjeeling in December, which I'll have to write about at a later date. However, right now I'm extremely busy with life since we haven't had a cook for like 2+ years now. I'll be back soon!

Good-bye's

Now, the goodbye wasn't all that hard, we had arrived at the airport with plenty of time to spare. However, we weren't allowed in the airport so we had to say our good-byes outside. I gave B and J a hug and told them it was great to see them and in B's case so nice to finally meet her after hearing so much about her, she's my other mother. :)

Well, DH had also hugged them and Mom, but I was the last and she kept hugging me repeatedly with each one getting longer and longer. She had then started to cry and I just kept smiling, or trying to at least. However, the more she cried the more I teared up and the dams had almost broke loose, but then I had decided that I didn't want her to see me crying. DH had pulled me to his side and we stood there together smiling so that Mom could see us like that. Mom was crying so hard that even the security guard had asked what was wrong with her. DH had simply told him nothing was wrong, just that she was seeing off her daughter.

I was so tired, emotionally, physically and mentally it was all I could do to jump on the volvo and come home. Here I was talking with some friends about it and broke down for all of 2 minutes because crying wasn't going to help. I missed her more than I did before she came to visit. However, thankfully it won't be another 7 years before we see each other again because she's already planning her next trip and she hopes to bring all of my siblings along. God, heaven help me if that happens because it'll be chaos!!!!